Excellent Mao web page... here's my contribution!

All Mao player's I've met in the UK play Cambridge Mao in
some form or another. The version I know best is:
Unofficial Non-standard Cambridge Five-card Mao.

Here is the traditional revealing transcript; players are
Alfred, an expert; Bob, a regular player; Colin, a regular,
and Dennis who hasn't a clue. They are sat around a table
with Bob to Alfred's left; Colin to Bob's left, and Dennis
to Colin's left.

Analyzing the deck with your x-ray vision, you see there
are two decks in play, containing four jokers.

Alfred deals, starting with Bob (immediately to his
left) and continuing clockwise. He deals five cards to
each player, and while doing so says this:

"This is unofficial non-standard Cambridge Five-card Mao.
There are two rules: 1, the Joker is the Nine of Diamonds;
2/ I'm not allowed to tell you the rules. Play begins
with me and continues to my left."

Dennis asks how he's meant to play without knowledge of
the rules; Alfred smiles and say's that he will see.

Alfred places the pack in the centre of the table, and
turns over the top card, placing it next to the pack. It
is the eight of spades.

He then picks up his cards, as do the other players.

Alfred plays the three of spades. He says "Three of
Spades".

Bob looks suspiciously at his hand for a moment.
Then, after a short time, he takes a card from the
pack and hands it to Dennis, saying 'Failure to
play within five seconds'. Dennis looks uncertain,
but takes the card.

"I thought play went to your left", he says.
"Talking", says Alfred, and hands him another card.

In normal circumstances, Dennis would get very angry
at this point, collect lots more 'talking' penalties,
and walk out. However, by some miracle, he takes the
card and sits in silence.

Then, he becomes aware of the other players looking
expectantly at him. He picks a card at random and
plays it. It is the 4 of hearts.

Alf picks up the card Dennis has played, along with
another taken from the top of the deck, and hands
both to Dennis. He says "Bad Card."

Again, at this juncture, Dennis is likely to fly
into a screaming fit. For the sake of the plot,
he doesn't. Instead, he plays the three of diamonds.

Alfred and Bob nod in agreement.

Colin plays next; the nine of diamonds. He says,
"That's the Badger".

Dennis takes a card from the deck, points it at
Colin, and says "Talking."
Colin takes the card, picks a card from the deck
and hands both to Dennis. He says "Bad Call". Dennis
takes both, and, to be honest, it serves him right.

Bob is next, he plays the seven of diamonds and
says "Have a nice day".

Alfred plays the seven of spades. He says "Seven of
Spades. Have a very nice day".

Dennis plays the four of diamonds. Alfred shakes his
head sternly, but Dennis either doesn't notice or
doesn't care. The card, and another from the deck,
are handed back to him. The call is "Bad card."

Dennis plays the seven of spades. Alfred groans 
inwardly.

Colin hands a card to Dennis; "Failure to say 'Seven
of Spades'". Dennis looks at the cards and understands
this bit.
Bob hands another card to Dennis; "Failure to say 'Have
a very very nice day'". Dennis thinks he understands.

Alfred gives yet two more cards to the unfortunate Den.
The first is branded "Repeated failure to say 'Seven of
Spades'" -- Dennis looks uncertain, but says the words --
and the second card, is "Repeated failure to say 'Have a 
very very nice day'". Dennis says 'Have a very very nice 
day' as well.

Bob decides to confuse matters. 'Point of Order', he says
as he places his cards face-down on the table. Alfred and
Colin place their cards down as well; Dennis doesn't. He
gets a card for "Touching cards whilst under a P of O" for
his ignorance, and soon gets the point.

They all chat for a moment about Dennis' misfortune before
Colin notices Dennis isn't saying anything. "It's OK", he
gestures at Dennis. "You can talk in a point of order".

Alfred chuckles, and hands Colin two cards; saying "Explaining
the rules" for the first, and "Saying 'P of O' whilst under
a 'P of O'" with the other.

Dennis asks "What's a P of O?", and is rewarded with the
elucidating response "We're in one".

After chat is concluded, Alfred says "Well, it's Colin's go
and we're going anti-clockwise. End of Point Of Order",
and picks up his cards. All players pick up theirs as well.

Colin takes three cards from the deck; with each one, he
says "Penalty Card".

Bob plays the two of spades. He says "Two of spades".

Alfred plays the eight of spades. He says "Eight of Spades".

Dennis moves to play, but instead spots Bob about to play
again and decides not to.

Bob plays the Jack of Spades. Alfred quickly calls 'Hearts'.

Colin plays the Ace of Hearts.

Dennis plays the Two of Hearts. The card is returned, with a
call of "Playing out of turn".

Alfred plays the Eight of Hearts; he says "Last card", and places
the card on the table with a nearby drinking glass on top. There is 
a pause.

Dennis realises that as no-one is playing, it's likely to
be his go. He plays the Eight of Diamonds.

Alfred retrieves his card and plays it. It's a Joker. He says "That's 
the Badger. Mao".

Bob plays a nine of diamonds; he also says "That's the Badger". Then,
he says "Last card", and places it face-down on the table with his hand
on top.

Colin is stuck. He takes a card.

Dennis learns fast. He plays the seven of diamonds and says "Have a
nice day."

Bob curses, takes a card and says "Penalty Card."
Colin hands him a card, saying "Talking", which is quite true, and
another,
saying "Swearing". Dennis smiles.

Alfred deals himself five cards, and says "Introducing new rule"...

...Bob, Colin and Dennis look suitably worried...

---

You may think that this is a lot simpler than other Mao variants;
well, it is. However there's two reasons for that: to provide more
space for new rules, and to easily introduce new players to the
game. This variant is, I believe, very closely related to original
Mao. It is a standard variant in Britain.

Oh yeah, the reason this one's long is that I felt the specifics
weren't very well portrayed in the other transcripts. Hopefully
this one is clear.